Vallerina (vallerina) wrote,
Vallerina
vallerina

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VANITY

Hey dudes, I have a major problem...ok well two
1. I'm a shopaholic
2. I have crazy body image issues.....vanity if you will
and these two problems create an even bigger problem....
I SPEND WAY TOO MUCH MONEY....as in my parents' money because I'm making jack shit this summer.

So I've never been one to buy into those silly infomercials about increasing your boob size, a diet patch that actually works, diet pills, amazing cream that does this, miracle pills that do that........BUT....I think I have sunken to an all time low and gotten SO desperate and have been feeling SO down on myself lately, that I have given in.

I'm trying these diet pills out, my dad says they don't work cuz he's tried them, but I say...they can't hurt, I'll give em six months (six months is my trial period for everything) and if they don't work for me, I'll give up on them

I bought this stretch mark reducer cream....use twice a day for about 3 months and they'll *hopefully* go away, there was this Strivectin cream that was an INSANE $175, apparently it works but I opted for the cheaper $49 cream

FAT GIRL SLIM...my fave product, cream to make my cellulite go away! It has caffeine in it as its active ingredient, apparently no one knows if caffeine really works, oops...I should've gotten the INSANELY priced $150 Liposuction or whatever cream...but this cream was 25 bucks...so I'm givin it a try

I really wanted to try the MBT sneakers that apparently reduce cellulite, but those are like $250, so I got these ridiculously fashionable BIKER SHORTS...thats right 80s, I'm back again! So I'd never be caught dead sportin biker shorts on the street....unless I were "working out" so these shorts will hopefully push me to actually go biking and jogging

And now for the most self-indulgent part....I'm going to be a spa whore. Getting a shrink wrap, thigh massages, lymphatic drainage massage..........I MUST GET SKINNY AND I MUST LOSE MY THIGHS! at any cost...to my parents. And while I'm at the spa, might as well get a manicure, pedicure, facial and electrolysis, right? esp. electrolysis, I am SO tired of having unwanted hairs!!

I seriously need a hobby, I think I'm suffering from being chronically under-aroused.....like, i was so bored one day I dyed my hair 3 times! Don't ask...the third time I had to dye it back to it's original color because I had a freak accident with the dye and my hair. So hopefully I will be one sexy beast soon, I'm givin it 6 months

On another note, I think all of my problems would be solved if my parents just bought me a car and I had a boyfriend or I was back at school. That made zero sense...but it makes sense to me...sorta kinda....ok, time to book my spa appointments, anyone want to come with moi?

Val
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